GutFuck?

month

August 2011

28 posts

Funny chemical reactions I learned about by...

I’m a lazy ass, so I tend to get creative when it comes to fixing things, like a burst seam on a 100% polyester T-Shirt. How did I decide to fix it? With super glue. Putting a fine line of super glue on the seam and then neatly tucking it to the other part of the seam I realized it was smoking, I pushed it hard down so it wouldn’t separate before it had dried. Now, the superglue I...

Proof that my birds are f@&king retarded. #2

#1. Gail, the seemingly only fertile woman in the aviary, is trying to build a nest using her own chest feathers. She grabs them with her beak and pulls, and she doesn’t seem to understand that THEY ARE STUCK. Even if it hurts. So she gives up to try to pull them away, and instead tries to put them in the nest while they’re still on her. Then she cuddles down, stands up and realizes...

Proof that my birds are f**king retarded.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my birds. And I love the fact that they’re a bunch of seemingly brain damaged fluff balls. So, Let’s begin, fact number one: #1. Noki, one of the Java finches, is playing around in a nest, pretending that it’s her castle or something, she protects it and from time to time she looks out and “laughs”. Yes, Finches can laugh. How is this...

“That is one fat crow.”

– The Wise Man

Butthurt people are the best

Your opinion AND argument is invalid.

I’ve had my finches for two years now, and I STILL can’t overcome the fact that they’re lesbian… It’s not that I don’t like it. I think it’s cute. It’s just… they’re lesbian… These awesome birds are lesbians! How do I know? You might ask. Well: They try to mate. Taking their turn with being on top. Finches “only” lay...

“There is no problem that can’t be solved with the proper application of...”

– GodzillaPride

Sometimes I like to pretend that I care about what people think and feel. And sometimes, I like to pretend that I’m interested in someone, because that makes them show another side of themselves. I also like to pretend that I’m a fish, that way, when I’m in the shower, I can breathe water. I have learned my lesson from that though. So I’m not going to pretend to be a fish...

Ten crappy facts. (Although one useful one)

Here are some facts for you: #1. Pancakes, ice cream and bananas taste the exact same way when you eat them as when you puke them up again. #2. You should not eat Sushi when you have a sick stomach. #3. I finally found out where that squeaky noise is coming from. My solar-powered lucky cat… His neck need some oiling. #4. When your male canary builds a nest, he is most probably not male....

Wow… I was just accused for art theft for one of my old works… How do you respond to that? “No, it was me, I just made it waaaay back when you happened to see it and then you just saw it until now and I know it’s not really my style so… but it’s mine!” Or what? I’m talking about this piece: http://mrtrancy.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d31z4wn I can...

“At least black people knew they were slaves, you’re fucking clueless!”

– Doug Stanhope

It’s interesting how I talk to my birds. Right now Aviator is having a teenage revolt as stated before. So she won’t stay in the nest. I put her back there ALL the time and as I do I tell her: “Now you stay there and think about what you’ve done!” Then I regret that I’ve been yelling on my itty bitty tiny bird and says: “No, I like you, I think...

Give me some book tips. I want them. Because I’m bored and tired. I want to read books. Do you know there are plenty of uses for books? You can beat people with them. Some of them may learn you new things and new views of life. Many helps you create a (sick) vast imagination, like mine. If you’re too tired to go to bed, you can use it as a pillow. Also, you can hide porn magazines in...

I have noticed that liars are often optimists. To prove my point: I have absolutely nothing to say. Just think about it though.