Reblog if your tits are real.
jathis: Lookit my tits
You stepped into the wrong part of town, shitnerd.
And then you're single...
I’m sad that it ended… Heartbroken, actually. But I’m happy that it was. We had great times… great moments, wonderful moments… Maybe we’ll find each other some day again. But right now… I’ll just have to settle for this…
How mom and I get things for each other.
Mom: Ugh, this is awful, Simon must love it.
Me: Ugh, this is horrid, mom will love it.
did-yuo-kno: inspector-gadege reblogged your photo: High-res → I wouldn’t be able to run this blog in fear someone may try this stuff and die And it’d be my fault I’m only catalyzing natural selection. The idiots need to die off eventually, I consider it population control.
I'm assuming the London Olympics will have...
Reblog if Caesar Flickerman should totally host...
sararye: Next year… Caesar… Next year. <3
What, seriously? We ACTUALLY won the Eurovision song contest? I never thought… Well, wohoo Sweden and… Okay, that’s that then. Going to sleep.
And now time for another evening of pain.
Alright, since I live in Europe, and Sweden is in the Eurovision song contest. It is a DUTY for me as a citizen to watch it. Starts in one hour and I’m already moaning in pain for when I have to sit down, eat popcorn, gummy worms, drink coke and listen to crappy music. And yet, every Swede is sitting there, quietly hoping in their heart that we will win. BECAUSE FUCK EVERY SINGLE FUCKING...
harkills: BACON!… IT SMELLS LIKE BACON IN HERE!! SOMEONE IS COOKING BACON and the smell is coming in my window to where I’m working D: …. Bacon x____x … B-bacon? Wow… I wrote bacon so many times I started to doubt if I was using the right word…. You should eat bacon today.
Way to go, nine year old little kids, calling an...
I hate this day. This is one of the SHITTIEST days I’ve ever had -not counting the day when I was eight and my entire life as I knew it went to hell after dad decided to jump in a river and die….Or when my life saving bird died, and another bird, and three more… but that’s in the past now, today is today. But yeah. My dog is sick, my brother is mocking me, mom...
theyellovvbrickroad: row row row ur boat gently off the cliff thanks
did-yuo-kno: Stupidity scale, as determined by this blog: 0% STUPIDITY - “Hahaha, this is funny. I am able to recognize and appreciate satire.” 25% STUPIDITY - “Uhh I don’t think I believe this…” 50% STUPIDITY - “Wow, really? I learned something new, I will share this fact with my friends!” Youshouldbewearingahelmet% STUPIDITY - “UM EXCUSE ME BUT THIS IS FALSE AND HERE IS AN ARTICLE I...
I want to watch a movie, which movie should I...
No matter how good you think your balance and...
roses are red violets are blue will you make out with me no why are you running away
The internet is so convenient
laughingstation: what the fuck should I make for dinner what the fuck should I listen to now what the fuck should I do today what the fuck should I do with my life where the fuck should I go for drinks what’s the fucking weather Wow. That sure is fucking convenient. You will laugh out loud!
THE BEST TRAIN CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER OVERHEARD
Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
Man 1: but I'm not!
Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
Man 1: honestly?
Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
Man 1: probably Iron Man.
Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
Man 2: oh yeah..
Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!
#HETEROSEXUALITY DOES NOT EXIST AROUND ROBERT DOWNEY JR.
Excuse me, but I'm not the idiot here.
So f*cking angry, I talked to the kindergarten teachers about the kids running to the fence and barking at the dog, said they shouldn’t do that. The response? “Well, they need to be able to do whatever they want within the fenced area, so maybe you should just take a different route” Well, yes, I could do that. But shouldn’t you teach those pesky little pests that they need...
I'm home, I live alone, you know what that means?
I DON’T HAVE TO WEAR PANTS.
A sure way to turn someone off is to flirt with...
Somnophobia+Insomnia makes for some great...
Like that time I was desperately trying to sleep after falling down from exhaustion and started remembering how I had poked a cat on the ear. Which made me think of cat ears, then I thought of cats, and cats sometimes eat rats, and rats are nasty AND cool, and whenever I see a rat, I think of my grandpa who shot one with a shotgun right in the eye… This is the result: (Painfully created...
Fixing the laundry for the first time since I...