GutFuck?

Some things I do… or rather… don’t do, are seriously shit and I deserve a slap in the face and a kick in the nuts. 

ramblings-of-a-mad-woman answered your question: Having a nervous breakdown.

Try reading this page. wikihow.com/Come-Ou… I know it’s for parents but it could help.

Thank you! It was a lot of help. I think I can figure something out now :)

WHAT IF your sub-conscious is ACTUALLY a person standing beside you who is checking out the place so you can do other stuff, and they see when someone is looking at you or coming at you or senses when you’re in danger, and gives you that message. And some people have a better connection to their sub person than others, and those people are psychics, because the sub-persons can see ghosts and other sub-people and talk to them O_O

So, my Mormon grandparents are here… and I’ve been trying to figure out for some time now how I’m supposed to come out to them and say that I’m gay… Mom says to use their arguments against them… that “God made me this way” and “He would know” …
But I’ve tried that with other things and it didn’t work…

Someone, please help me… How do I tell these christian zealots that I’m a dude who likes dudes?

I know and knew the area where I live is dangerous, but I was desperate and moved there anyways.
Now I have paid the price for stressing it, and I need to find a new place before this angst and suppressed fear eats me up from inside. 

Bosco starts growling every time he sees a fat man, he’s scared, too.
Moving away in fear isn’t the answer, but I’m doing it anyways, I’m tired of this town and I’m tired of the area. 

I’m out of here. 

I’m…

I’m so happy.
I’m so happy that I have all these wonderful people around me.
I couldn’t afford to take care of the birds, so I was thinking of selling them, mom, who knows how much they mean to me, took them over, so now she has them and pays for them and cares for them while I can still come and see them whenever I want to.

My amazing grandfather is giving me 500:- SEK a month to take care of the dog, AND he payed the insurance.

Mom is also helping me pay for the medication I so desperately need, she even helps me with the commute fees when I need to go see the many different doctors I see.
I live in a great country where the commune and state take care of their people… (Even if they’re sometimes douchebags, but which politician isn’t?)

I have a great stepfather who makes sure I can still enjoy the little things in life by inviting the whole family to boat trips and and field trips, he even pays the vacation we’re going on in two weeks. 

I have wonderful friends who care for me and are there for me when I need them, and I’m there for them in return.
The fact that my life went from nothing to just plain amazing over these six years is just… wow…

It hasn’t been easy. But I’ve gotten this far. And almost all tears I shed, I shed from joy.
To have these people around me, to have these wonderful opportunities waiting for me when I’m ready… Surely makes me realize how lucky I am.
How much the world has to offer… how fortunate I am, it wouldn’t have been possible without the people around me. And still having them close is… beyond my understanding.

I used to be awful, I was horrible. I was THE definition of someone you just didn’t want to hang out with or even pretend to be friends with. And I have no idea how they stayed with me for so long.
But they did. And it has brought me to where I am now.
Soon ready to go to school. Hopefully being able to get a steady job.
And you know what?
I’m soon done with a book that I hope I can publish…

So much has happened in my life, so many bad things. But coming to the place where I am now, the state I’m in, just proves that it was worth fighting for.
I wouldn’t change a thing. 

As I once said, or well… I’ve said it several times… Bosco is going to give me a heart attack one day. He was well on his way just a few minutes ago.

We were outside and he had walked in to the thorn bushes as usual, so I stayed in the open park space to remove them, with slight protests of course. When I was done I gave him a candy, like I always do. And he starts choking on it, wheezing and coughing and shaking his head. 

And I had no idea, until now, that I knew the dog Heimlich maneuver, I guess panic set in and I just did what I would have done to a human choking. 

Stressed out and scared, he managed to get the candy out, then he looked for it, ate it up, and continued his life as if nothing had happened… 

Damn hound. I’d say bitch, but… you know, he’s a male.

dantes-disco-inferno:

You know you want to :3

I met the next door neighbor in the stairwell today, and he wanted to talk to me. I said sure and we went out since it echoes like fuck in the stairwell.
So he begins:

“I’m irritated with your dog, he makes so much noise when he’s walking and when he’s throwing things, which I think he’s doing, and when he barks at the mailman, it’s very irritating”
I look at him, then down on my sweet obedient “little” dog, and then I smile.
“I’m going to cut his claws, and I’ve tried making him stop barking at the mailman, but he’s just telling me someone is coming”
“Well, you have to make him stop, it makes it hard for me and my wife to sleep”
Note that this neighbor has irritated me several times and that his kids NEVER shut up. And I’m from Sweden, and in Sweden we don’t talk about sex, but since he had the nerve to accuse my dog of making more noise than his screaming kids I said what I wanted:

“Sleep? It doesn’t sound like you get any sleep anyways, maybe you should move the bed a bit further from the wall”

By my words he got pale and then shook his head.
“Sorry for saying anything about the dog…”

He hurried back inside, and from what I know he either stopped fucking or he moved the bed, because I haven’t heard them have fun since then.
The kids still scream and beat each other senseless though…

It feels like I’m letting everyone down, like I’m a sucky friend and can’t be there for people.

One of my friends is moving soon and I really, really enjoy his company, he brings out the rascal in me and we have so much fun. He’s moving quite far… well… not THAT far. But being broke students we haven’t got the money to see each other that often. Today he asked me to come over to his place (He’s got social phobia so he rarely leaves alone)

But I have chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, I’m so fucking tired all the time that I can barely walk my dog, my apartment is falling to bits and I’m too tired to even swipe the floors.

I know it’s not my fault, but I feel I’ve let everyone down and that I’m the one doing everything wrong.
And it makes me so damn sad I don’t know what to do. 

Thanks for reading…

kanyewesticle:

i saw a chameleon today so i guess it was a pretty shitty chameleon

So, I’m really looking forward to the weekend, since the town festival is going to be launched. Now, you might wonder what a small little town of 50 K inhabitants who stay inside most of the year may have to celebrate.

Nothing, really.

But that doesn’t keep us from partying.

On Friday they’ll open the falls, it’s an amazing sight to see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddQbps1yYEI

(Video of the falls)

Now, there are some idiots who really enjoy these celebrations a tad bit too much.
Some info. 400K liters of water (or if it was 800, can’t remember) is let out each SECOND. Imagine the force that’ll make, and you see the rocky valley thing where it flows?

Yeah.

One year, I think it was… fifteen years ago… A German dude decided he wanted an amazing picture. So he went down in the crease and held his camera up, waiting for the water to come.
When they opened the valves he snapped a photo and ran.

His remains were never found.

Now as tragic as it may be, he’s not the first one and probably not the last.

What amazes me the most about these festivals is the amount of people walking around. Going in to the center of town you would never imagine that almost the entire population of our measly excuse of a city, plus a hundred thousand or so tourists could ever fit.
Well they can.
Them, and almost a hundred of market stalls and arcade tents.  

Oh, and what’s the name of our fine town?
Trollhättan.

Problem, Manhattan? 

No matter what I do, I’m JUST NOT GOOD at doing the dishes. I realize that now when I use a frying pan which I three months ago fried fish sticks in, to fry pancakes… And I can just say… one wouldn’t think I’m making pancakes… some delicious fish dish though, that’d be agreeable. Maybe I should top the pancakes with fish sti-

Stop right there.

Slap me.

Seriously, slap me…

 

Oh, and… I’m not complaining, I love my dog and it comes as part of having him… I’m just so FASCINATED. How it can get to all those remote locations, like INSIDE a pen, it’s just… amazing.

SO MUCH FUCKING BULLSHIT!

I’m so pissed. I’d like to post a long post about opinions I have, but I’m too tired to handle the shitstorm that would follow.

So much ignorance… So many IDIOTS and DIMWITS and DIPSHIT FUCKERS.

Better get to writing on my book. I have enough anger to fuel those hateful words now… 

me trying to art

me trying to cosplay

me trying to make friends

me existing

This gif… this… this gif is AWESOME.

sassy-gay-shameimaru:

social justice bloggers can’t play chess

because they’d get up in arms about the white side going first

and then rage about how it’s who traps the king who wins, not the queen

“check”
“more like check your privilege” 

Guess it’s sandwiches again today.

Moving. Canceling the apartment contract tomorrow, or as soon as I’ve spoken to the socials. Either that, or put Bosco down. He’s so restless and depressed by living in this tiny area that he cries and tries to open the front door. He walks around aimlessly and can’t figure out what to do. Gonna see if I can get a two room apartment at least, there are some cheap ones, but not in Trollhättan… I’m searching though. Saving money so I can pay double rent if I need to. Taking commissions now, (Traditional art black/white or color on canvas/paper, because that’s what I’m good at… or… slightly good at, so the prices won’t be sky high) want anything painted tell me what and we can agree a price, or if you want something written, same goes there. Thanks.

But I really need someone… someone who’ll at least pretend that they care.