It feels like I throw everything good away because of the things that have happened and are happening.
I have all these great opportunities but other things keep pulling me down.

I have so much potential to completely mend myself and fix my life. I have so much power to change this, instead I fall down in grief.

I’m stronger than that.
I have dealt with these things before, and it gets easier each time. However sad that may be, that it gets easier to handle this… death and what you could call treason. I have lost so much.
And I don’t want anything else taken away from me.

People I trusted, people I loved. 

It’s not worth it… 

I need someone to care for a while.

It’s easy to pour your heart out to someone you can’t see, have never met, barely even spoken to.

But I’m not here to do that.
I just want a bit of comfort.

So I wonder… can you give that to me?

Tags: ? comfort me

Aint life grand.

No matter what I do, I’m JUST NOT GOOD at doing the dishes. I realize that now when I use a frying pan which I three months ago fried fish sticks in, to fry pancakes… And I can just say… one wouldn’t think I’m making pancakes… some delicious fish dish though, that’d be agreeable. Maybe I should top the pancakes with fish sti-

Stop right there.

Slap me.

Seriously, slap me…

 

I need some encouraging words…

Hey, at least I’m honest…

I’m sitting here twitching out of stress and I can’t even see clearly. I’m so desperate to make things right that I’ve only gone down deeper in this hell hole… 

Why am I doing this? Why the fuck am I doing this to myself?

(I’m so disgusting…) 

Sweet crime.

Hey tumblr, I thought I’d share some of my awesome pr0nz with you.

(Don’t judge me… I know you like it, gay porn ahead)

He twisted his hand in the sheet, gasping as Monroe’s lips softly touched his hip bones in a  

gentle kiss. His entire body was shaking from the pleasure this man gave him. His hands firmly grasping around Lou’s waist, embracing the soft skin, encountering a drop of sweat from time  

to time. His mind was going blank from lust, all he wanted to do was push Lou down further and take him away, but it was his first time, and Monroe wanted to be gentle. Lou shivered as  

Monroe’s lips lowered a bit more, almost, just almost, touching his dick. Just one lick, and  

he’d come, he had been pushed to the limit by just the soft embraces. Monroe knew, and slowly  

sat up, not touching the young man. Lou opened his eyes and looked at him.

“P-please…” He whispered, a desperate smile and Monroe leaned over him, kissed him as he  

nestled his hands in his hair. Lou gasped, grabbing his hands, moving them over his own body.

“Please…” He whispered again, and Monroe smiled, kissed down Lou’s neck. The embraces and  

soft touches became too much, and Lou arched his back as he reached his limit, he felt the  

orgasm through his entire body, closing his eyes and bending his head back, a moan escaped his lips, and he fell back on the bed, already exhausted and tired. But they both knew the night wasn’t over.

Monroe, just an old man compared to this young beauty, started thinking about how he could  

have gotten him this far, gotten him this close. Lou’s innocent trust for him was one of the  

sweetest things. 

And as he touched, Lou grabbed around him, just a sweet hug, body against body, skin against  

skin. The night had swept them away, and finally it was just those two, nothing in the world  

mattered, it was just them, alone, together for once.

Lou didn’t take long to harden again, and Monroe kept his caution, being gentle and slow to  

ensure comfort and real pleasure, he licked around his middle finger, making sure it was wet  

before he moved it to Lou’s ass. Stroking a bit, he then inserted the finger, Lou arched his  

back again, moved his hips closer to Monroe. He took it slow, pushing deeper bit by bit so  

that Lou could get used to the feeling, although he already seemed to enjoy it, Monroe didn’t  

want to rush, he knew himself what pain it could cause. His fingers were thick and he doubted  

he could get another one in right away without causing discomfort, so he moved it in and out,  

slowly, almost massaging inside. Lou was panting, not really knowing where to go, where to put his body or mind, he held the sheets as if it was his last connection to the world. Monroe took his finger out, and gently tested with his index finger and middle finger. With a little  

twisting, and slow movements they went in without problem.

“Uhh…” Lou looked at him, twisting his eyebrows.

“Are you ready?” Monroe could see the insecurity in his eyes, but he nodded. Finally, he  

thought, he had been hard and lustful since he started touching Lou’s body, and was admiring  

his self restraint. He put his dick against Lou’s ass, parted it and bit by bit went deeper,  

Lou was biting his lip in pain, but quickly got used to the sensation. Monroe was wet and no  

lube was needed as he slowly started to move in and out. Lou reached his arms out, grabbing  

around Monroe’s neck, Monroe leaned down, kept on moving as he got his arms around the young  

man, holding him close. He felt the sensation of Lou’s nails clawing down in his skin and he  

groaned, but that small amount of pain didn’t change the pleasure he felt. They were both  

buried deep in their crime, losing their minds in the night. Monroe thrusted and Lou gasped,  

almost a moan, or nearly a scream.

“Sorry” Monroe whispered, but Lou shook his head.

“Felt… good” He murmured, and Monroe smiled. He started to move a little faster, his stomach moving close to Lou’s. Pushing his throbbing dick down, embracing it with skin and muscle. No  

doubt, Lou was feeling good. 

Monroe focused his own pleasure to satisfy Lou, moving in quickly, moving out slowly. As he  

was almost all the way out, he thrust in. Lou was gasping, panting, and the sweat found its  

way to the creases between his ribs. Monroe didn’t know how long he could last, already as  

aroused as he was, he had almost released just watching Lou. He held it in as much as he  

could, and started moving faster.

Lou’s nails tore deeper in his skin and pulled him closer.

“Ah!” Monroe started kissing his neck breathing heavily by his ear. He couldn’t hold it longer when he felt Lou come. The semen almost as lube against their skin. He thrust in deep one last time and came, held it there for a while before he slowly took it out. Lou dropped his hands  

down and closed his eyes. Still having the expression of pleasure covering his face.

“Did it feel that good?” Monroe asked in a low tone as he sat up, still with Lou’s legs over  

his.

“Y… yes” 

“Should we shower… or do you want to sleep?” Lou opened his eyes a bit, then closed them  

again.

“Sleep…” He whispered. Monroe laid down next to him and pulled him close. “Monroe…?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever leave me…”

“Don’t worry, Lou, I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Promise” Monroe kissed Lou’s cheek, but the young man had already fallen asleep, softly  

breathing. 

The cool midnight summer breeze swept in through the half open window, softly stroking over their bodies. Monroe closed his eyes, with his arms around Lou, he somehow finally felt safe.